Last week was brutal. My dog got sick, work piled up like dirty laundry, and I couldn’t sleep for three nights straight. Felt like the universe threw me under a bus. So I dug up an old notebook where I scribbled “5 Ways to Illuminate Valor in Challenging Times Quickly” during another meltdown last year. Decided to test ’em again.
First thing Tuesday morning, I grabbed my phone and texted my buddy Dave: “Dude, tell me one dumb thing I did in college.” He sent back a story about me tripping into a koi pond at midnight. Laughed so hard coffee shot out my nose. That’s way one: ask someone for an embarrassing memory of you. Instantly shrinks problems.
Then I stormed into my messy garage. Saw dusty dumbbells under broken Christmas lights. Did exactly seven push-ups – collapsed after five, finished on my knees. But I yelled “STILL COUNTS!” at nobody. Way two: physically beat the crap outta something for 60 seconds. Felt less like a deflated balloon afterward.
Wednesday sucked worse. Rain killed my commute. While windshield wipers flopped like dying fish, I blasted 90s hip-hop and screamed lyrics. Missed every high note. But at stoplights, I caught my reflection actually grinning. Way three: shout-sing one angry song alone in your car. Gets the poison out.
Thursday? Almost caved. Ordered junk food, but instead of binging, I took one crispy onion ring outside. Held it up like Simba in Lion King and whispered, “Circle of life, buddy.” Fed it to a squirrel. Way four: ritually sacrifice one comfort item to nature. Sounds nuts, but watching that squirrel scamper off weirdly fueled me.
Friday felt lighter. Scribbled “Things That Didn’t Kill Me” on a pizza box: flat tire in ’09, failed sourdough starter, that Tinder date who brought her mom. Drew a stupid trophy beside it. Way five: make trash into trophies. Tape it where you’ll trip over it.
By Saturday? Dog’s tail wagged again. Laundry’s still monstrous, but I’m not drowning. These tricks won’t fix everything, but they’re like duct tape for your courage – holds just long enough to find real glue.
