Alright, let’s dig into this Dark Souls figure showdown I had this weekend. Seriously debated which knight deserves the shelf space – Solaire or Artorias? My wallet wasn’t thrilled.
The Unboxing Nightmare
Grabbed both boxes off the shelf. Solaire came first. Plastic tray was jammed so tight, I practically needed pliers. Pulled him out, sunshine paint job looked bright as hell. Then Artorias. Fancier box, heavier figure, felt solid. His broken sword arm piece popped right off while I was handling it. Swore under my breath trying to jam it back in.
Posing Wars & Dust Magnet Struggles
Tried to make Solaire do his signature pose. Arms just don’t bend that way without feeling like they’ll snap. Settled for him holding his sword kinda awkwardly. Artorias? Dynamic as anything. Got him leaping mid-swing. Looks amazing… till dust settles on that flowing cloak two days later. Wiped it down again yesterday – total chore. Solaire’s smooth armor? Dust rag swoosh, done.
-
Materials Showdown:
- Solaire: Standard shiny plastic. Feels alright, not heavy.
- Artorias: Matte finish cloak, rougher texture armor. Feels more premium, costs way more. Base weighs a ton.
The Accidental Knockoff Test
Stupid moment: Knocked Solaire over reaching for my coffee cup. Heart stopped. He bounced off the desk, landed on carpet. Picked him up, expecting carnage… nothing. Not even a scratch. Dumb luck? Maybe. Artorias? No way I’m risking that fall.
Staring at the Price Tags
Kept glancing at the receipts. Solaire cost me like, coffee money for a couple weeks. Artorias? Felt like paying my water bill. Big difference sitting there on the shelf. Does fancy plastic really justify that?
The Final Shelf Space Decision
Stared at both on my desk for days. Artorias wins looks, no contest. But Solaire? He’s the guy. The sunbro. That stupid face poking out of his helmet makes me smile every time. And honestly? My shelf is tiny. Artorias’s dynamic pose hogs way too much room. I nearly shoved my monitor off trying to fit him.
So yeah, Artorias went back in his fancy box. Feels kinda bad. He’s objectively cooler. But Solaire? Cheaper, tougher, smaller, and makes me happy. He’s standing guard by my keyboard now. Probably won’t budge till the next dusting. If space and cash weren’t tight? Maybe both. But life ain’t like that. Had to pick the sun.
