Alright, let me tell ya about my messing around with the Witch Doctor tonight. Got totally wrecked earlier and finally figured out a setup that just CLICKS. This ain’t no fancy guide, just me grinding.
Starting Out & Getting Smashed
Hopped into some Torment XVI rifts tonight, thinking my usual janky pet build was hot stuff. Wrong. My little Gargantuan buddy, Big Stinker? Poof! Gone in like two seconds flat against some chunky elites. My mana felt like it got drained by a busted vacuum cleaner every time I tried Haunt or something. Wanted to smash the keyboard. Could barely clear trash mobs without sweating buckets. Figured it was time to try something totally different, like those “top” builds folks yell about.
Diggin’ in the Stash & Swapping Stuff
Okay, deep breath. Opened my overflowing stash tabs – seriously, Blizzard, give us more space! – and started hunting for gear pieces I usually ignore. Found the weapon everyone whispers about in forums for this spooky exploding chicken build? Yeah, that Staff thing? Dug out that stupid little dagger too, the one that makes your primary attacks shoot poison darts faster than my cat runs from bath time. Slapped those bad boys on.
Then the mojo. Remembered I had that weird mojo that boosts your explosive buddies. Found it buried under fifty lousy yellow shields! Threw it on. For armor, it was all about finding anything with poison damage boosts or stuff that makes my new skills hit harder. Had a helmet that looked like a dead fish – wore it anyway cause it rolled poison damage. Same for belt and boots. My guy looked ridiculous, but fashion be damned.
Flippin’ Skills Like Hotcakes
Now for the skills. That Gargantuan skill slot? Took it off the bar – felt like firing a lazy roommate. Goodbye Big Stinker, you unreliable lump! Needed room for the EXPLOSIONS.
- The Chicken Walk: Seriously, this was the key. Slotted that bird rune right away. Boom! Instant panic button AND a killer starter.
- Poison Spikes Thing: Dumped my old spirit generator. Used that poison spike skill instead – felt weird stabbing the ground constantly, but dang, stuff just melted if I stood close. Plus it filled my mana real quick.
- Cloud of Toxic Death: Haunt got benched. Went for that nasty purple poison cloud skill you drop on monsters. Just drop it and watch them choke – satisfying!
- Soul Collector: Kept that one. Still love seeing the little souls fly around me. More damage, bigger explosions? Sign me up!
- Passives Got Shuffled: Found that passive that makes your “next spell hit harder” after using mana, that was a keeper. Ditched anything pet-related like yesterday’s garbage. One passive boosts damage when I stand still – crucial with the poison spikestabbing.
Finally Kickin’ Butt (Mostly)
Loaded back into a similar rift. Okay, chickens… don’t let me down. Pressed that Chicken button. ZOOOOOM! Straight into a pack of mobs. BOOOOOOOM! The explosion was glorious! Like firecrackers in a swamp. Followed up fast with that poison stabbing attack. Shink, shink, shink – stuff started dropping! Threw down the big poison cloud right in the middle. Monsters just stood there coughing and dying! Elite pack showed up. Didn’t run away this time. Chicken ZOOM in! BOOM! Poison stab like crazy right in its face! Dropped the death cloud. My Soul Collector guys buzzed around buffing me. That elite chunked my health bad, but man, it dropped way faster than I expected. Cleared the rift way faster. Actually felt powerful. Messed up the Chicken timing a few more times – blew it up too far away or ran into walls (shut up!). But when it clicked? Pure chaos. Fun chaos. This… this actually works.
Still gotta practice hitting the Chicken explosion right on those nasty elite champions – gotta get right up in their stupid faces. And figuring out when to stand still stabbing versus runnin’ around like a headless… well, chicken. But dang, this mix of runnin’ fast, blowin’ stuff up, and drownin’ fools in poison? Yeah, this is the juice. Gonna keep running this tonight till my fingers cramp.