Okay, so I dug out my dusty Sega Saturn for this one. That old gray box has been sitting under my TV for ages. Fired it up, heard that iconic disc whirl sound – which honestly sounds like it’s chewing rocks now. Plugged in my chunky controller and started rummaging through my CD binder. Half the discs had those ugly disc rot spots, man. Disappointing as hell.
First Disaster with Shmups
Tried loading up Radiant Silvergun first. Heard legends about this shooter, right? Disc sputtered for a minute then froze on that damn Saturn logo screen. Tried cleaning it with my t-shirt like an idiot – made it worse. Ended up downloading a ROM for my MODE cartridge after swearing at the disc for ten minutes. Finally got it running. The sprite work? Absolutely insane even now. Bullet patterns like rainbow hellfire. But holy crap, that difficulty curve almost snapped my controller in half.
RPG Headaches
Switched gears to RPGs. Pulled out my copy of Panzer Dragoon Saga. Disc 1 booted fine, played through that whole desert intro with the dragon. Got to disc 2 – nothing but error screens. Found out later this game is rarer than unicorn tears and discs rot faster than bananas. Emulated it reluctantly. The battle system’s still genius though. Flying around blasting monsters while circling them? Felt slick even compared to modern stuff. But the translation… oof. Random lines felt like they went through Google Translate in 1998.
- Spent 3 hours grinding in Dragon Force just to watch my army get stomped by zombie hordes
- Got lost for ages in Shining the Holy Ark’s terrible dungeon layouts
- Magic Knight Rayearth made my thumbs ache from constant button mashing
The Dark Horse Shooters
Went deeper into obscure shooters. Batsugun was pure chaos – screen full of bullets but somehow controlled smooth. Dodonpachi made my eyes bleed colors I didn’t know existed. Weirdest find was Battle Garegga. Game punishes you for playing too well with insane rank systems. Shot down extra enemies? Congrats, now everything shoots nukes at you. Absolute madness.
Final List Drama
Tried making this “definitive” list but kept changing my mind. Cut it from 20 titles to 10 after realizing half were unplayable without emulators. My buddy argued for hours that Guardian Heroes should count as RPG-shooter hybrid. Whatever man. Ended up spilling soda on my notes halfway through. That sticky mess felt appropriate honestly – perfectly captured the Saturn experience. Jury-rigged USB power to my Saturn at 2AM while testing Layer Section II. Woke up to a burnt power cord smell. Never change, Saturn. Never change.
