So today I finally got around to testing different spiked maces against steel plates, something I’ve been meaning to do since that museum trip where we saw those rusty medieval armors. Started by calling up three buddies from the historical reenactment group – Dave knows his blacksmithing, Mike does actual armor crafting, and Tony just likes hitting things.
First step was raiding our basements and garages for any mace-like objects. Ended up with this mess:
- Grandpa’s fireplace poker (we bent it into a spike shape)
- Cheap Halloween decoration with plastic spikes over metal rod
- Proper museum replica Tony bought online last year
- Homemade monstrosity Dave welded from scrap metal
- Antique store find that looked mean but wobbled
Set up Mike’s workshop with three layers of quarter-inch steel plates bolted to oak stumps – poor man’s armor test. Grabbed my old welding helmet and work gloves. Took turns swinging each mace overhead like we were charging knights.
Instant fails:
- That Halloween junk shattered on first hit – plastic shards everywhere
- Antique store mace head flew off mid-swing, nearly took out Dave’s truck
- Grandpa’s poker bent sideways after denting only the top plate
Surprise winner:
Dave’s ugly scrap-metal creation actually punched clean through all three steel plates! Solid weld held up through ten brutal smashes. Museum replica came close but needed three hits to penetrate deepest. My notes got spattered with metal flakes when that homemade spike went THUNK-CRACK through the back plate.
Wrapped up with beers and arguing about balance versus pure piercing power. Tony still insists museum pieces look cooler for photos, but man – nothing beats a thick spike welded onto rebar when you need to wreck armor. Left with ringing ears and four dud weapons for the trash bin. Totally worth the six band-aids.
