The Hill Giant Potion Mess
Right, so I kept dying in that stupid goblin camp fight near Emerald Grove. Seriously annoying. Figured maybe chugging one of those Hill Giant Strength potions I’d been hoarding would help my fighter whack stuff harder. But how long does it even stick around? Said 1 hour… but is that real time or game time? Nobody seemed to have a straight answer.
Okay, fine. Time for some science. Grabbed my Tiefling fighter Tav, some scroll saves (gods bless F5 and F8!), and headed out near the Blighted Village where nobody bothers you.
- Test 1: Chugged the potion. Boom. Strength jumped to 21. Started sprinting around like an idiot, jumping off rocks. Watched the clock. Played normally for like 10 minutes. Potion effect icon just sat there… smug. Not helpful.
- Test 2: Reloaded. Drank again. This time, just stood totally still. Stared at the screen. Felt ridiculous. Got bored after 5 real-time minutes. Still nothing. This clearly ain’t about real time.
- Test 3: Reloaded again. Drank the potion. Did one thing: walked from the village gate to the broken building down the path. Took maybe 10 seconds. Checked the character sheet. Boom. Strength back to base. What?! Seriously? One tiny action?
This is when I almost threw my controller. Turn-based mode must reset something! Fine.
- Test 4 (The Turn-Based Grind): Found a sleeping boar near Auntie Ethel’s. Drank the potion outside combat. Strength 21. Walked into the boar’s view to start combat. Turn-based started. My fighter’s turn. Strength still 21. Bashed the boar (felt unnecessary, poor boar). Ended turn.
Combat round ended. Took exactly one full combat round – maybe 6 seconds total game time after drinking? Back to base Strength! Gone! Poof!
So there it is. That fancy “1 Hour” on the tooltip? Might as well say “Until Something Happens.” It lasts until:
- You start any combat encounter. Doesn’t matter if you drank it five seconds ago.
- Or one full combat round after drinking it, whichever comes first.
Basically useless outside of very specific “I’m about to pickpocket this exact trader right now” situations. Total waste for sustained dungeon crawling or big fights. Felt cheated. Spent all that gold thinking I had an hour of god-strength? Nope. Just false hope in a tiny bottle.
Why am I telling you this? Because yesterday I spent $50 trying fancy protein shakes at GNC, convinced they’d make me lift heavier all day. Drank one before the gym. Guess what? Lasted exactly until my first heavy deadlift set. Then just felt bloated and annoyed. Reminded me of those potions. Expensive temporary boosts promising way more than they actually deliver. Some lessons, you learn in Faerûn, some you learn at the squat rack. Both usually involve wasting money on overhyped liquids.