Alright so Diablo 3 Season 34 started hot, figured I’d tackle those Conquests early. Honestly? Bit rusty. Haven’t touched my barbarian since like, season 31. Felt like trying to run with boots full of mud.
The Whole “Gotta Do Conquests” Thing
First up, opened that Season Journey tab and stared at the Conquests listed. Needed three for that sweet, sweet stash tab. My brain goes: “Okay… which ones look least painful?” Right? We all do that.
Scrolled through them:
- Boss Mode – Kill bosses fast? Sounds stressful.
- Avarice – Pick up mad gold without stopping? Need gear for that.
- The Thrill – Solo Greater Rift 45 with no set items? Hmm… maybe.
- Years of War – Do Rift 55 with six different sets? Yeah… nah. Too much grinding.
- Divinity / Lionhearted – Solo Rift 75? Maybe later…
The Dumb Way I Started
So my barb was already level 70, Paragon like… 250 or something weak. Had the full Wastes set from Haedrig’s Gift. Figured, “Let’s try Boss Mode!” Big mistake.
Grabbed a speed build guide off some forum, slapped it together with whatever junk legendaries I had. Portaled to Act 1. Killed Maghda quick. Cool. Then Leoric. Okay. Got to Zoltun Kulle… dude vanished. Seriously. Ran around his little arena like an idiot for a minute before he popped up. Already lost like 20 seconds. Panicked. Forgot Belial is a LONG walk. Teleported there late. Killed him. Looked at the timer: OVER 20 minutes. Epic fail. Tried again. More running, more getting lost. Ended up rage-quitting that conquest. Felt like trying to find my keys in the dark.
The Smarter(?) Cheesing Phase
Alright, lesson learned. Boss Mode needed gear I didn’t have. Switched focus. Saw “The Thrill” – GR45 with no sets. That sounded… doable? Maybe?
Stripped my barb naked (well, almost). Threw on random powerful legendaries: Bracers of Destruction, Band of Might, those pants that buff Earthquake… stuff I’d picked up leveling. Skills? Basically just big smashy things – Seismic Slam, Earthquake, Ancient Spear for pulling. Passives focused on surviving.
Hopped into Greater Rift 45. Nervous. Died twice to some stupid Arcane Sentries. Got slowed hardcore by a Frozen pulse. Used Wrath of the Berserker and just screamed at my screen, mashing buttons. Cleared it with like 2 minutes left. Heart racing. But it counted! One Conquest down. Felt like winning a boxing match against a wet noodle.
Next target: Avarice. That sweet, sweet gold streak. Didn’t have the crazy Boon of the Hoarder gem leveled yet though. Remembered an old trick: T16 Nephalem Rift. Need open maps. Looked for Cemetery or Act 5 Battlefields. Opened Rifts… kept getting crappy layouts. Finally hit a huge Cemetery. Popped in with Goldwrap belt, basic Avarice Band ring, no Boon gem. Killed a big pack. Gold explosion… streak pops up! BUT… got stopped dead by a Treasure Goblin pack! Lost the streak. Wanted to cry into my coffee mug. Took four more tries to get an open Rift WITH a gold shrine. Popped the shrine, found a dense floor, and just ran like a maniac killing things. That streak finally stuck! Boom. Second Conquest.
Grinding for the Third Pain
Two down. Need one more for the rewards. Boss Mode still seemed scary. Solo Rift 75? My char wasn’t that strong yet. So… grumpy mode activated: grind Paragon levels. Ran some T16 Neph Rifts, dumped all stats into Strength. Found a few Ancient upgrades. Felt marginally less weak.
Caved and decided on “Curses!” conquest. Kill 350 monsters in a single Cursed Chest event? Ugh. Needed a specific chest. Opened Adventure Mode. Went to Act V, Paths of the Drowned waypoint. Teleported in. Ran to the cave. NO cursed chest. Left game. Started again. Repeat. Like, ten times. Finally! “The Cursed Peat” spawned. Prayed. Teleported to town. Remade the game on Torment X. Rushed back. Started the event. Spammed Seismic Slam like my life depended on it (the monster’s did, ha!). Saw 100… 200… 300… SCARED it would end. Killed stragglers frantically. Ding! 350 exactly! Third Conquest done! Cue the “FINALLY!” scream. Loud.
Grabbing the Loot
Got the pop-up: Season Journey Chapter completed. Rewards unlocked. Portaled back to town like I owned the place. Talked to that floating chick Tyrael. Claimed it all: The stash tab unlocked, that sick Soul Shard transmog effect, portrait frame. Didn’t need the set piece anymore. Just stood there for a sec, admiring the stash tab. Feels good man.
What worked? Cheesing “The Thrill” and “Avarice” saved my sanity. Boss Mode needs serious map knowledge/speed. Curses!” is annoying but gets you there without ultra gear.