Man, let me tell ya about this headache I ran into last week. See, I got all hyped up after watchin’ too many action flicks, thinkin’ I needed my own piece. Almost blew it big time ’cause I didn’t know squat ’bout gun safety. Here’s how I stopped bein’ a dummy.
Walkin’ In Blind Like A Fool
Just straight up waltzed into Big Jake’s Gun Barn last Tuesday after work. Told Dave – the guy behind counter with massive beard – “Yeah gimme whatever looks coolest.” Dave just stares at me like I grew three heads. Slams his palm down hard on the counter.
“Listen here kid,” he growls. “You ever even held steel before?” Made me jump worse than when my cat knocks over coffee mugs at 3 AM. Fella pulls out this ancient revolver with rust spots – click – points it right at my foot. “What’s rule number one right now?”
I’m standing there sweating bullets (heh) like I forgot the answer on a pop quiz. Silence hangs thick for like 30 seconds before he breaks it. “ALWAYS treat every gun like it’s hot to death! Ain’t no toy!” Face felt burning hotter than jalapeño sauce.
My Living Room Boot Camp
Ended up spending Wednesday night watchin’ this retired marine sergeant’s safety videos on my phone with Chinese takeout spilling everywhere. Practiced with my buddy’s plastic BB gun in living room like a dork:
- Finger glued OFF the bang button till ready to shoot
- Checking that chamber every time like it’s got snakes in it
- Screaming “CLEAR!” before touching anything till roommate yelled “STOP YELLIN!”
Next morning actually remembered the four big ones:
- All guns always loaded even if “empty”
- Never let muzzle hit anything you ain’t willin’ to destroy
- Finger stays straight off trigger like it’s lava
- Know exactly what’s behind your target before pew pew
At The Range Without Embarassment
Went back to Big Jake’s yesterday lookin’ less like a lost puppy. Dave nods when I asked about rentals – “Show me you won’t shoot your own foot first.” Loaded up their Glock 17 rental slow like grandma typing text messages.
Boom! Boom! PING! Felt good smacking those tin cans downrange without screwing up. More importantly? Empty chamber check before stepping back – brass clinking on concrete – finger frozen away from trigger. Dave actually grunted “Not bad” before walking away. High praise from that grump.
Went home with proper paperwork for a basic Smith & Wesson. Saved myself from either Darwin Award or bankruptcy. Ammo ain’t cheap either way.
