The Bat Hunt Begins
Grabbed my laptop this morning, thinking I’d buy a new baseball bat online. Searched “Lucille bat” – man, prices were all over the place! Saw one for $50, another for $200. Thought: “No way these feel the same.”
Hands-On Testing
Drove to three sports shops downtown. Made a complete fool of myself in the store parking lots:
- First shop: Picked up a shiny $65 “Pro Lucille”. Swung it at weeds – sounded like snapping spaghetti. Employee saw me and coughed. Embarrassing.
- Second shop: Tried a $120 maple bat. Too dang heavy! Shoulders screamed after five practice swings.
- Third shop: Found a $185 hickory model with “Pro Stock” stickers. Swung at air – heard that whoosh like cutting paper. That got my attention.
Stupid Mistakes & Lessons
Almost bought a $50 Walmart bat “just to try”. Thank God a softball coach stopped me. He spat sunflower seeds and said: “Son, cheap bats crack like cheap china.” Learned three things the hard way:
- Ignore flashy paint jobs – checked 4 bats where paint hid wood cracks
- Weight distribution matters! Held 3 wrong and felt wrist strain instantly
- Grip tape thickness changes EVERYTHING – peeled off tapes from 7 bats like a maniac
The Deciding Factor
Got home dirty and sweaty. Stared at receipts like detective clues. Realized I kept comparing everything to that $185 hickory bat. Called up Coach Miller from my beer league:
Him: “You sweating price or performance?”
Next morning I returned those 2 crap bats I’d panic-bought. Drove straight back for the hickory Pro Stock.
Final Tips from an Idiot
After wasting $40 on gas and bad bats:
- ALWAYS swing before buying – 4 online sellers lied about “balanced weight”
- Bring rubbing alcohol to clean demo bats – felt 2 sticky “new” bats that were clearly returned junk
- Smell the barrel – cheap wood smells like wet dog (seriously!)
Used mine tonight. Smashed 30 balls at the cage. Felt like Thor’s hammer. Worth every penny.