Got this crazy idea last weekend when binge-watching medieval shows. Thought, “Hey, spaulders look cool, maybe I can whack some together?” Never made armor before, total noob here. Figured I’d start simple with stuff from the dollar store and garage leftovers.
The “Grab What You Got” Phase
Dug around like a raccoon in the trash honestly. Found:
- Cardboard boxes
- An old yoga mat (super dusty!)
- Craft foam sheets from kid’s art project
- Duuuuuct tape (grey, of course)
- Cheapo contact cement
- Spray paint (silver-ish)
- Random belts & buckles
Figured that’s enough to start. Didn’t wanna spend cash.
Messy Measuring & Cutting
Took an old t-shirt, put it on my shoulder, and kinda drew a blob shape around it with a marker. Made it way too big first time. Cut it out of cardboard as a template. Used that to trace onto the craft foam and yoga mat. Scissors struggled hard with the mat, ended up using a box cutter. Wear gloves next time, almost sliced my thumb open! Cut two big pieces for each shoulder – one for the main curve, one for the little top cap thing.
Glue Guns Blazing (And Burning)
Tried the contact cement first. Smelled awful, took forever to dry. Said “screw it” and busted out the hot glue gun. Melted the cheap craft foam a little if I held it too long. Lesson: glue in short bursts. Stuck the smaller top cap piece onto the bigger curved piece for each spaulder, glued along the edges. Held ’em down with heavy books ’cause they kept popping up. Got weird fingerprints in the glue everywhere. Used duct tape on the inside seams too, just to be safe. Felt like reinforcing a busted piñata.
Making ‘Em Stay On
This part was tricky. Cut two strips from an old belt. Used the hot glue gun again (and definitely burned my knuckles) to stick the straps onto the underside of each spaulder. One strap went front-to-back over the shoulder, another around the arm pit area kinda. Played with positions until it felt snug but could still move my arms. Added the buckles because why not? Glued those suckers on too.
The Make It Shiny Part (Kinda)
Went outside, put down scrap paper. Spray painted the mess silver. Cheap paint dripped like crazy in spots, looked super blotchy with dark glue stains showing through. Did like three thin coats waiting for it to dry each time. Still looks a bit like tinfoil wrapped over leftovers, but hey, it’s armor! Let it air out for a whole day, smelled like a chemical factory.
The “Huh, It Actually Works” Moment
Slipped it on. Straps held! Didn’t fall off when I lifted my arms! Did a silly little sword swing motion (using a broom handle, obviously). Felt surprisingly sturdy, looked okay from 5 feet away. Totally beginner-level janky, but I MADE THESE THINGS. Cost me practically nothing, learned stuff by screwing up, and now I can pretend I’m guarding a castle when taking out the trash.