How I accidentally uncovered the OP-11 release date madness
So yeah, happened to poke around in our company’s internal dev portal last Tuesday while fixing that damn login bug. Coffee stain on my keyboard, headphones blasting synthwave – just another chaotic afternoon. Needed to check the API docs for the OP-10 firmware, right? Ended up clicking through folders like a lost tourist.
Stumbled upon this folder labeled “OP-11/ReleaseCalendar” – weird thing is, it wasn’t even password protected! Manager been preaching “security first” in every meeting since 2020, but here’s launch dates sitting naked in plain text. My mouse hovered over that folder like it was a grenade pin. Curiosity killed the cat, man.
What went down next:
- Opened the damn folder anyway – saw “launch_marketing_timeline_*”
- Spreadsheet’s first tab screamed “CONFIDENTIAL – FINAL DATES” in comic sans font (seriously?)
- Scrolled down past legal disclaimers thicker than my thumb
- Boom – June 20th circled in red with devil emojis 😈
- Next column said “EMBARGO LIFT: April 15” – THAT’S NEXT WEEK!
Panic mode activated. Slammed my laptop shut so hard the intern jumped. Heart doing drum solos. Knew I couldn’t screenshot – IT sniffs that out faster than donuts vanish from the breakroom. Grabbed sticky notes instead, handwriting shaking like a leaf in a tornado. Scribbled dates, product codes, random embargo jargon.
Boss caught me shoving notes in my backpack later. Gave me that squinty “why you sweating?” look. Played it cool like I’d just fought with the broken copier. “Paperwork for my tax refund!” – sounded dumber saying it out loud. He just grunted. Next morning, folder gone. Vanished. Like it never existed. Whole Slack channel buzzing with “mandatory security training” announcements.
Funny thing? That tax excuse paper? Lost it yesterday at the bus stop during rush hour. Hope whoever finds it enjoys our launch schedule. Fingers crossed it wasn’t my manager.