Okay so this whole Jojo mommy combat thing… sounds wild, right? Saw this idea floating around and thought, why the heck not try it myself. Got two kids bouncing off the walls constantly, need some superpowers. Here’s exactly what I did, messy bits and all.
Started With Total Confusion
First off, clicked on that vid thinking it’d be ninja moves or something. Nope. It was all about mom reflexes turned into actual combat techniques. Like, catching falling things super-fast is now a defense drill. Who knew? Felt kinda silly standing in my living room pretending to snatch sippy cups out of the air like they were throwing stars.
Tried the first “power”: Multitasking Maneuver. The video lady made it look easy. Hold a baby doll (I used my actual toddler’s stuffed monkey), stir an imaginary pot, and kick backward at an invisible attacker. Total disaster. Dropped the monkey, nearly knocked over the lamp, twisted my ankle hopping on one foot. Kid just stared at me like I lost it. Maybe I did.
The Messy Practice Phase
Decided to break it down. Watched that section ten times in a row. Coffee helped. Key things I figured out:
- The Grocery Hold: Turned carrying heavy bags into a shield. Practed swinging my canvas tote bag low and hard towards the couch (pretend attacker’s knees). Felt way more solid than just swinging blindly.
- Speed Snatch: Started literally throwing pillows off the couch and catching them mid-air before they hit the floor. Kid loved this game. Took about 50 tries to not faceplant. Got quicker though!
- The “Nap-Time Ninja”: This one killed me. Trying to move around quietly and efficiently while dead tired. Tip-toed like a cartoon burglar putting laundry away. Dropped a hanger. Kid laughed. Practice fail.
What Actually Stuck (And What Didn’t)
After like three days of feeling like a clown:
- Peripheral Vision Drill: Game changer. Started deliberately forcing myself to notice things in my side view while talking or doing dishes. Spotted kid sneaking towards the crayons like a hawk. Felt kinda cool.
- Voice Command Thing: The video talked about using your “mom voice” to distract or startle. Tried it yelling “HEY!” sharp while practicing a hip-bump block against the doorframe. Felt powerful. Probably annoyed the neighbors.
- The Wrist Lock? Total fail. Tried doing some twisty move on the monkey’s arm to disarm an “attacker” holding a spatula (kid’s toy). Monkey just looked floppy and sad. Pissed me off. Dropped that for now.
The Real Mom Battle Test
Didn’t face any actual bad guys (thank god), but used bits in real kid chaos. Tripped backwards avoiding a runaway toy truck and instinctively did that catching motion – snagged the saltshaker I knocked off the counter. Didn’t even think about it. Felt like a minor win. Used the sharp “HEY!” command when the dog tried stealing food off the baby’s plate. Dog froze. Food saved.
Overall? Wouldn’t fight off a real robber or anything, but seriously leveled up my mom reflexes. That peripheral vision thing? Gold. The voice command? Weirdly effective. The fancy disarms and kicks? Maybe later. Maybe never. Still cool knowing some of that crazy jojo mommy power stuff actually works in the trenches. Worth the bruised ego (and maybe the ankle). Gotta keep practicing!