So my kid’s been bugging me non-stop about this new superhero game, right? Kept showing me flashy trailers with Spider-Man shooting webs and Rocket Raccoon blasting stuff. Looked cool honestly, but that parental alarm bell started ringing. Grabbed my coffee yesterday morning and dug into the age rating mess.
The “Official Rating” Hunt
First stop? The game’s official website. Scrolled past all the explosions and character reveals, finally found the tiny legal stuff at the bottom. ESRB rating: T for Teen. Okay, expected that. But those rating summaries always feel like they’re written in lawyer-speak. “Cartoon Violence”? “Mild Language”? What does that even mean when Rocket’s unloading a minigun?
- Cartoon Violence: Characters get zapped, punched, thrown around. No blood or gore shown.
- Mild Language: Stuff like “hell” or “damn” pops up in chatter.
- In-Game Purchases: Big red flag for my wallet. Skins, emotes, you know the drill.
Felt like I needed a translator. Cartoon violence sounds harmless until you picture your 10-year-old controlling Hulk smashing Iron Man through a building.
Booted It Up Myself
Downloaded the open beta. Felt weird jumping into a superhero battle as a dad on a Tuesday afternoon. Played a few rounds as Magik – she teleports and slices enemies with this giant soulsword. Yeah, “cartoon violence” my foot. The impacts are heavy, the sound design makes every hit feel crunchy. Teams trash-talk constantly during matches too. Heard a few “crap” and “dammit” voice lines flying around.
Then I watched the ultimate moves. Iron Man’s unibeam melts enemies, Groot impales folks on branches that sprout from the ground. It’s stylized, sure, but intense. Got that “whoa kid maybe wait a few years” feeling real strong.
The Final Parenting Call
Shut down the PC and sat my kid down for the talk. Explained it like this:
- It’s fast, chaotic, and the fighting feels weighty even without blood. Might be too intense if they scare easy.
- Other players online? They’ll curse. No way around that.
- That “in-game purchases” warning ain’t decorative. Saw 5 different “DEAL ENDING SOON!!!” popups in 30 minutes.
Compromised on watching gameplay videos together instead of playing. Still felt guilty seeing the disappointment, but hey, parenting’s not about being the cool guy. It’s about not letting your 11-year-old blast virtual heads off before dinner.
Long story short? ESRB says Teen, but trust your gut. Watch actual gameplay before you buy. Your wallet and your kid’s nightmares will thank you.