So I got wrecked again last Friday at the kitchen table, man. Steve brought this red-green aggro deck with all these one and two mana creatures that hit the table fast. By turn three my life total looked like an Uber Eats discount code – half gone already. Felt like getting punched with socks full of quarters.
Time to Build Something Chunky
Dug through my collection hunting anything that’d wall up early. Remembered this funky card Assault Formation – makes your toughness matter for attacking. Perfect! Grabbed every high toughness junk rare I had: Tree of Perdition (that’s 13 toughness right there!), Belligerent Brontodon (5/9 for 5 mana!), even threw in some Wall of Souls cards. Basically anything that could eat lightning bolts like breakfast cereal.
The First Disaster Test
Took the monstrosity against Dave’s white weenie deck next day. Dude drops three 1/1 flying spirits turn two while I’m sitting here with one swamp. Game ended faster than my motivation to exercise. Learned two things:
- My mana curve was slower than Sunday traffic
- Just having big butts ain’t enough when they fly over you
Simple Fixes That Actually Worked
Added three cheap tricks next morning:
- Blinding Fog – instant speed fog that cantrips! Sacrificed coffee money for these
- Cower in Fear – wipes all their 1-toughness dorks for three mana
- Swapped six taplands for basics – speed matters more than fancy duals sometimes
The Turnaround Moment
Faced Steve again yesterday. His turn three board had four creatures swinging for 7 damage. Dropped Blinding Fog – drew a card while his attack fizzled like flat soda. Next turn slammed Tree of Perdition. Dude stared at that 1/13 wall like it owed him money. Finished him with Assault Formation turning my 13 toughness into lethal damage. Felt better than finding cash in old jeans!
Still lost two out of five games though. Lesson learned? Mixing chunky creatures with cheap stall tactics works way better than just playing big dummies. Also need more card draw probably. Gonna try adding some Wall of Omens next week – that thing cantrips while blocking!