My Messy Quest For BG3 Body Mods That Actually Work
Okay so last Thursday night I fired up Baldur’s Gate 3 for my Dark Urge playthrough, right? Loaded my save file and bam – my dude was walking around smooth as a Ken doll down there. Turns out the new hotfix murdered all my anatomy mods overnight. Again. Swear these patches hunt mods like bloodhounds.
First thing I did was hit the modding forums everyone recommends. Sorted threads by most recent and holy hell – pages of people screaming about broken junk. Saw three “verified working” mods and downloaded em all. Unzipped the folders, dumped files into the mod manager like always. Crossed my fingers and launched the game.
Total disaster. First mod made every NPC T-pose naked during cutscenes. Hilarious but useless. Second one crashed during character creation every damn time. Third mod? Couldn’t even get past the loading screen without a CTD. Spent two hours trying different load orders like an idiot before trashing everything.
Went back digging through old forum posts from like six months ago. Found this janky looking mod named “Flaccid Hero Edition” buried on page 27. Description straight up said “probably broken idk.” Said screw it and tried anyway. Dropped just the .pak file directly into the override folder instead of using mod manager. Booted up the game holding my breath…
And it freaking worked! My half-elf barbarian suddenly had proper equipment swinging during combat animations. Even had physics during that romance scene with Astarion. Couldn’t believe this deprecated garbage mod outperformed all the shiny new stuff. Still testing stability but it hasn’t crashed in three sessions.
Funny thing is I only started modding body parts after seeing how hilarious my friend’s dwarf looked during his stream. Dude’s whole chat kept calling his character “The Seamless Wonder” after a mod glitch erased his groin. We laughed about it until 3AM drinking cheap tequila. That stupid meme sent me down this cursed modding rabbit hole to begin with.
Anyway lesson learned – sometimes the crusty old mods hiding in forum graveyards work better than the promoted stuff. Just gotta dig past the broken garbage and pray the physics don’t spaz out when you long rest. Flaccid Hero for the win I guess?