So I finally decided to figure out these MTG goblin cards everyone talks about, but man, felt totally lost at first. Looked at this big pile of cardboard rectangles with crazy art, thinking: Where the heck do I even start?
Took me forever just to find the stupid goblins in my collection. Dug through boxes, binders full of cards from years back, found about thirty different ones. Made a huge mess on the floor, felt overwhelmed. Started sorting by what they looked like – cheap ones, ones that make you sacrifice stuff, some that hit hard but cost a ton.
Grabbed the cheapest-looking cards first. Figured: “Okay, let’s just get a bunch of these little guys onto the table fast, see what happens.” My first attempt looked like this junk pile:
- A whole bunch of Goblin Arsonist (1 red mana)
- Any Goblin Instigator I found (2 mana, brings a friend)
- Threw in a Goblin Chieftain ‘cause it sounded boss
- Added like one Goblin Grenade I had lying around
Took this mess to play my friend. Got my butt kicked. Badly. My little army mostly just died fast, did almost nothing before he swatted them all away. Felt super frustrating, kinda wanted to just quit the goblin thing right there.
Sat down later, really looked at the cards I had. That Chieftain guy? He actually makes other goblins tougher and hit harder! The Grenade? Sacrifice a goblin to blast something for 5 damage? Oh! Suddenly clicked that the goblins need to work together.
Re-built the pile more carefully:
- Focused hard on getting small goblins out quick: Mogg Fanatic, Foundry Street Denizen
- Found 3 more Goblin Grenade – that’s the big kaboom!
- Made sure Goblin Chieftain was KEY so my weaklings actually hit like trucks later
- Threw in Goblin Bushwhacker to surprise attack even harder
Played the same friend again. This time? Different story! Spammed goblins early, then BAM! One Chieftain hits the table and suddenly my little guys are scary. Sacrificed a goblin to Grenade his big monster. Popped the Bushwhacker one turn for a massive, surprise attack out of nowhere. Won faster than I ever thought possible!
So, for real newbies like I was:
- Don’t try to use every goblin card you own. Start basic.
- Cards costing 1 or 2 mana are your bread and butter.
- Find stuff that makes ALL your goblins better (like Chieftain).
- Goblin Grenade is your best friend – the sacrifice is worth it!
- Learn your deck. Play practice hands against no one to see how it flows.
It wasn’t magic science. I stink at this game most days! But focusing on the cheap creatures and their teamwork? That made the difference between a dead pile of cardboard and an army that actually won me a game. Guess goblins aren’t so dumb after all.
